The Electric Car Buzz

martooni-girly-300pxDo you like your buzz and drink your booze like it’s water? I bet you’d love to know that in the not too distant future your drink of choice will experience a price reduction, allowing you to consume more of this American dietary staple. And this comes from an unlikely source: electric cars.

You may ask how an electric car would fuel a surge in the alcoholic beverage industry. It will be done through a systematic reduction in resource usage and an increase in tax breaks, all while tapping into this generation’s never ending love to be environmentally friendly and economically irresponsible.

Once electric vehicles dominate the market, the oil industry will have to scale back gasoline production. Since ethanol is an ingredient in both alcohol and clean burning gasoline, the drastic drop in demand will send prices falling faster than your best friend on St Patty’s Day. Following the laws of supply and demand, ethanol becomes a buyer’s market, one the makers of Coors and Bud Light will no doubt saturate, making it easier for consumers to satisfy their thirst. Feel free to get your buzz on and celebrate the death of the internal combustion engine.

Electric cars are destined to drive themselves, giving brewers every incentive to invest in the technological advancement of artificial intelligence. Not only does artificial intelligence reduce drunk driving accidents, it also reduces the need for intelligence amongst drivers. A bet on a computer to drive three thousand pounds of steel is a good bet for us all.

For the people in this generation who like to call government handouts a means to support society, feel free to know that several tax breaks, incentives, and reduction in expenditures for local law enforcement, are on their way. With lower drunk driving incidents, you’ll see a smaller police force and reduced enrollment of DUI and traffic schools, freeing up funds, likely to pay for rehab.

Whatever will the police do after last call? Maybe they’ll look for real criminals, such as this generation’s sick pedophiles, murderers, and arrest those baby boomers who stole social security to fuel their wild retirements. Remember, don’t trust anyone over fifty.

Lastly, on a sad note, you may lose a friend along the way to advancing society’s plunge into the drowning pool. Sacrifices will be made when your designated drinker remains sober against the new wave of automated alcohol, refusing to binge and purge with the rest of the party. Who needs a sane, coherent friend, anyway? Many of us aren’t there ourselves.

Big Picture Show

There was once a time in my life where I cared about society’s problems. I felt a debate was worth it. And I should do my part and voice my opinion. However, through my twenties, I confirmed my suspicion that giving a shit about the big picture is a complete and utter waste of time.

I don’t care about drug use. I don’t care if athletes use steroids and their neck explodes. Not my mess to clean up. Feel free to legalize weed, crack, and meth. Not only will it bring us good entertainment on the morning news, it will let the species sort out the weak minded as they crash and burn harder and faster. If we want a real debate if evolution is real, I say, let’s witness it first-hand.

I don’t care about the privacy debate. If it means they get what they want, people will give information to the highest bidder or lowest cost alternative. Concerning Apple’s stance to refuse decryption of the iPhone of a dead terrorist: I don’t give a fuck. He’s dead. Justice has been served in the proper manner. He fought the law, and the law won. No further answers need to be.

The media and lawyers have convinced people that closure can only be achieved through a thorough understanding of the criminal mind. I don’t give a shit about the mind of a pedophile, a murderer, an arsonist, or anything else. In case you haven’t been tracking the news over the past thirty years, but this sad attempt at solving a bigger problem – preventing crime itself – is a complete waste of time. This attempt to understand, to know more, is worthless. Take a page from the old West: shoot first and ask questions later.

What Happened On, February 18th

It’s been more than two weeks since my last update. Had a few days with food poisoning; note: do not buy anything instant that requires you to boil milk.

February 18th, 2013, marks a special President’s day for Civil-War buffs. On this day, in 1861, Jefferson Finis Davis was inaugurated as the first — and only — President of the Confederate States of America.

Confusion during parades is likely to ensue in the states of Texas, Alabama, and South Carolina, where some patriot will march down the street wrapped in nothing but a Confederate flag, drunk on moonshine, singing “I Wish I Was In Dixie. ”

In four years, Davis managed to lose the war and destroy the Confederate economy through inflation, but not before he shamed himself on the world stage. Something about being the leader of a pro-slavery confederacy, fighting an anti-slavery union, didn’t sit well with the leaders of the countries from which Davis sought to enslave.

In aviation and postal history, in 1911, the first official air-mail flight took place, and in a rather arrogant manner. About 6,500 letters were flown over the excruciating distance of six miles, and what better person to do it than a French pilot, Henri Pequet, over a British-controlled territory known today as India.

If you didn’t vote for Pedro in 1913, don’t worry; nobody did. In 1913, Mexican military general Victoriano Huerta staged a coup that overthrew the then-reigning Presdient Francisco I. Madero, ultimately conspiring with Pedro Lascurain to give some legality to the takeover. Pedro’s presidency lasted a mere forty-five minutes, about the length most people can pay attention to politicians ramble on the news before realizing there’s something better on the next channel.

The planet Pluto was discovered in 1930 by Clyde Tombaugh, as he studied photographs he took the previous month. And, by no coincidence, Walt named Mickey Mouse’s dog in true Disney-fashion to cash in on the craze of whatever was sweeping the nation at the time.

Speaking of dumb animals, on this day in 1930, Elm Farm Ollie became the first cow to fly without the use of a catapult. The flight began in Bismarck, Missouri, and landed in St. Louis, as Elsworth W. Bunce became the first farmer to milk a cow in mid-flight, raising the bar of the mile-high club for bestiality enthusiasts.

Tom Cruise can celebrate today, for back in 1954, the first Church of Scientology was established in Los Angeles, California. Due to legal constraints, I regret to inform you I cannot comment further on the Church of Scientology or young Navy Fighter Pilots.

Finally, in a show of mercy on convicted felons, and to bolster bureaucratic budgets, the California Supreme Court decided in 1972 it was perfectly fine to invalidate California’s death penalty laws, and commuted all death-row inmate sentences to life in prison.

Not to be outdone, the California voters — then at the time more sane — voted for Proposition 17 just nine months later, thereby re-instituting capital punishment. And though they were quick to fix the law, they wouldn’t enforce it until twenty years later.

Real-Time Strategy Games

As part of my work on the comic book, I like to write out my thoughts in a separate location.

Real-Time Strategy Games

Here’s a genre politicians love. Real-Time Strategy pits a player in a position where they control one or dozens (possibly hundreds) of units in combat. This requires a great deal of focus, skill, and resource management; things that help make perfect little four-star generals. The kind of children conservatives love to breed.

You don’t hear many arguments against this; that’s because, usually, the little men that are controlled are seen from a top-view. You don’t see the graphic details of the people exploding. This is in direct correlation to when people support war, as long as it isn’t in their backyard; if they don’t see it, it doesn’t bother them.

You see, as long as a game teaches children how to be top military commanders, but not commandos, it’s okay; having control over others is a finer lesson than having control over ourselves.

Anyone who has played these types of games, especially online, understands there is a lot of cheating going on; parents and politicians don’t complain about this, either. Just like they complain about others cheating on their taxes, but they turn around and do it themselves.

Eye for an Eye, Justice is Already Blind

Okay, let’s start of with a little current events. I know it’s on your mind and the minds of anyone who believes anything the media or the press tells them. I’m talking about the issues of gun control and addressing mental illness in these psychotic fucks that have been killing innocents in broad daylight.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t feel sympathy for these assholes, and I don’t want excessive gun control. In fact, I used to believe everyone should be able to walk around with a concealed weapon. But not anymore. And I don’t blame the people going on shooting rampages. Again, I don’t have sympathy for these assholes; I just know where to point the finger.

You know I’m no fan of public education institutionalization. And it is my firm belief that education is exactly where these problems emerge. There are people who actually believe if we understand the criminal mind, we’ll be able to keep them from committing crimes; that we’ll be able to stop them at the source.

These people are the real nuts. It doesn’t work that way. The more we understand about something, the less we fear it, and the more we welcome it as the norm in society. The more we’re subjected to something, the more it seems as the usual order of the day.

But, I have a solution! One I’m sure anti-gun-control advocates will love. The next time some psychotic fuck goes apeshit with a semi-automatic, you kill the bastard. Kill the fuck, in broad daylight. Hey, he has no problem killing innocent people, we should have no problem killing guilty people. We’ve got to be the insane ones if we’re standing there telling him, “Freeze! Drop that M-16 and put your hands up while I point this tiny state-issued firearm at your leg.”

I know what you’re thinking, “Well, gee, Carl, what about due process? What about a fair trial with a jury by peers.” Fuck that! You see this fuck shoot someone, you shoot him in the head. You do not give him sympathy. You do not yield. There is no white flag of surrender. I say: “Eye for an eye, justice is already blind.”

So, of course, the issue of gun control will come up. Oh, we have to control who has guns; we have to control them. Yeah, that works. Bullshit. Criminals don’t give a shit about the law; that’s what makes someone a criminal, not respecting and obeying the law. Any law you make will have no effect — none — on the ability for some asshole to get a gun and blow the heads off of innocent people.

Gee, I wonder where these psychotic fucks come from; they don’t just sprout out of the ground with their guns like an undead soldier. This isn’t something out of the Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt. These are so-called normal, well-to-do children. Have you noticed that? These young men over the past twenty years are not the same people the media would have you believe as a mass murderer. The media wants you to believe killers are gangsters, drug dealers, and terrorists.

Some of the most dangerous people have been anything but terrorists, gang members and drug dealers. Think about it. Most terrorist commit one act, and they blow up! They kill themselves in the process! No, most of these killers in the media have been young, middle-class, and white. And that’s why people actually give a shit today.

You see, when crack was introduced, it was all about crime in Chicago, New York, Detroit, and Los Angeles. The places where blacks were segregated by fascist government policies. The media turned a blind eye and refused to even give a shit about finding the psychological and economic reasons as to why gang members and drug dealers were killing each other. It didn’t matter to white people. It was not their problem because it wasn’t in their back yard. It didn’t apply to them.

But now, now that it’s the white man committing these crimes and dying, it seems to me that the media, the press, and the government actually pay attention. That now it’s time to put a control on guns; now it’s time to start looking at the mental illness and insanity of these criminal fucks. Now that the middle class is being threatened, the free, better-off middle class white majority, is losing their fucking mind, it’s time to fix the problem.

They didn’t give a shit when lower-class minorities were hurting. Wait, were? Sorry, I mean are. They still don’t give a shit about lower-class minorities. And I can guarantee you, if the economy was doing fine, you wouldn’t hear anything about gang violence; you wouldn’t hear about drug problems.

The real criminals are the sick fucks who have raped this country, turned a blind eye, and finally, finally! When things look like they’re really going to fall apart, they feel the need to fix it. Because, you know, if the middle class crumbles, then everything falls down with it. The middle class, who does all the work and pays the bills, supporting the upper class with massive profits, and the lower class with shitty government programs.

What I Think of the “Fiscal Cliff”

Let it fall off the cliff. In fact, shove it off the cliff; I’m all for that. I want destruction; something has to teach these greedy drug money laundering bankers a lesson: the party is over. Out the door with them. They spiked the punch, pissed in the pool, and it’s time they had an accident with the roof. They’ve been caught with their pants down and their dicks in our accounts long enough.The Real Fiscal Cliff - Big Business Throwing Away Everything to Hurt Small Business

I’m an honest man, and I don’t want this nonsense to continue. It’s not the bankers fault, entirely. No, I blame the public; society in general. This is a consumption market. Built on the idea people should buy a new model of a product that does the same thing as the one they already have.

They buy it because it works 2% faster than the last one, or saves them one-tenth of a gallon of gas per mile. They buy it because its shiny, has a number added to its name, or comes in a new color.

Normally, I don’t wish ill fates upon others, but these last twelve years have gone too far. The annual GDP of America is over 15 trillion dollars. Trillion, with a T. As in, if you want some of this money, tough shit!

The gap in economic wealth and health is immense. It’s no longer measurable by the width of the Grand Canyon; there isn’t a chasm in the world that can measure this insane difference between the richly filth and poorly dirt. At least we’ve created something practical to measure in light years.

I want it to end, but I’m not advocating we take money away from the rich. Forget that. It will just cause us to be as greedy as them. I’m talking about good old-fashioned torch burning witch hunts, to hunt down the slimeballs who are really responsible for this.

Something needs to scare the life out of these people. They don’t care about the law; they don’t give a shit about paying taxes. What do they need with roads when they can fly around in private jets? What do they need with clean sewage systems when they own the water plant and shit on everyone? What do they need with protection from terrorists when they’re in bed with the oil companies that own the countries they extract it from?

Nothing. Nothing is scaring them. The only thing that scares them is complete government control of their assets. And that’s why I’m rooting for the fiscal cliff to fall off, and China and Russia to return to Communism.

Globalization is a failed experiment for the global community. It seeks nothing more than to make the worldly rich richer, and the unworldly poor poorer.

Please, push these fat, drug laundering bankers off the cliff. We don’t want their drug money. Burn it. There’s too much money in the economy as it is. I hear the midwest could use fuel for fire to keep warm this time of the year.

Dear Mr. President, Congress, and the 9 Old People

If your government (local or national) accomplishes one thing in 2013, what would you like that to be?” as per the Daily Prompt. Well, Mr. President, members of the House and Senate, and those 9 old people with black robes, here is my request:

Fix Public Education & Fix the Employment System

This country was founded upon Freedom and Liberty, and those rights to be held by those responsible enough to exercise them in a manner that helps society. The current education and employment systems, which are almost exactly the same, have stripped away all that Freedom, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness.

We teach children to sit down, shut up, do as they’re told, and fall in line. God forbid they  follow their dreams. This is all in preparation for employment, to further the goals of the rich. It’s not about children following their dreams; it’s about supporting a system that works for the few, and hurts the many.

Instead of teaching children to wait for commands, we need to teach them to think for themselves, from their own imagination — it’s there! It’s a human thing! Use it. Teach them to use it.

Instead of teaching children to raise their hand, teach them to speak up when they feel they have to. Interruptions are going to happen in real life, it’s better they learn now and learn how to express themselves. Holding your thoughts and emotions in leads to psychological problems — believe me, I am a prime example — and we shouldn’t be encouraging it because we want to teach children so-called patience. The rich aren’t patient; they go for what they want and don’t let some jerk stop them.

Instead of teaching children to keep themselves in a box with barred windows, in an organized line, teach them to follow their instincts. Let the kid look at the back of the class if he wants to; let him block out the bullshit the teacher is feeding him. As if it wasn’t bad enough we teach kids to not express their emotions, but we have to turn them into apathetic diseases by telling them not to listen to themselves.

All this leads to the employment system. People are so worried about getting a job. Worried they can’t feed their families, can’t get work, can’t get a job. A job. They are afraid they won’t be chosen; won’t be called upon when they raise their hand; and are afraid that if they speak too loudly they will never get a job and be shunned from society.

A child who learns to wait to be called on to ask a question turns into an adult who waits to be chosen for employment. A child who learns to choose when they want to speak learns that they don’t have to wait to be chosen for employment.

A child who learns to use their imagination will be creative. A child who only remembers what somebody told them they have to remember has no imagination. In a world where technology is performing simple, redundant, and tedious tasks, creativity will be what is in demand, because computers can only do what they’re told. Like a child who went through the public education system.

A child who learns to express their thoughts and emotions will live a healthier, happier life. A child who learns to bottle up their feelings will feel trapped, oppressed, and burst out in fits of anger, rage, depression, and possibly psychotic episodes, beating people over the head with rhubarb. Or maybe rampage through a mall killing innocent people.

A child who learns to keep himself boxed in will become a recluse, refuse the norms of society, and shun healthy physical activity; it’s a wonder why child obesity and bullying is such a big issue, huh? A child who learns to explore, and denies himself the oppression of a prison cell, will broaden his horizons and aspects, make friends, and maybe, possibly, help make society a better place.

But we don’t want that. Mr. President can’t stand up to the parents. It’s not the teachers who are at fault; it’s the paranoid delusional parents who have a fear of their child failing. They’re afraid their child won’t be as rich as the other kids. It’s all about vanity, and they’re afraid that they, the parents, will look like failures in the eyes of their friends and parents.

It’s not about the children, especially when it comes to the employers. I’m not talking about small businesses who benefit from an educated society. Big business benefits from an ignorant society, too stupid to realize they’re paying over 3,000 times the cost for a cellphone, and think, once again, in vanity, that if they don’t have the latest and greatest, they’re not cool.

I wish that Congress would set aside it’s ideaillogocial differences and address a real problem in this country; one that requires higher thinking, you know, from those so-called Ivy league universities they attended.

Last, these judges need to grow a pair of balls, and reverse this pathetic idea that corporations are people. They are not a living, breathing person, with a brain, a heart, a set of lungs, and therefore, are not human. These judges who voted in favor should be removed from office and shunned from society. It is this ruling that has vilified and solidified a corporation’s legal authority over the very lives of Americans, and by relation, the education and employment system.

The Point of All This

In the beginning, the point was to find food and shelter to eat and live.
In the middle, it was to further the endeavors of a civilized world through knowledge and research.
Now that we know how much bullshit everything is, it’s time to get back to the one thing humans do best: complaining.

That’s all it seems to be now. Everyone looking for something to bitch about. If they can’t complain about the manufacturing process of steel dildos, they’ll complain about the endangered species. If they can’t bitch about public education going in the shitter, they’ll complain about taxes being too high.

Lo and behold, we create things just to complain about them. Government, taxes, religion, and the idea that you can’t walk up to a beautiful ginger girl and ask her for a blow job and get one.

In all honesty, there is no point, there never was, and there never will be. Humans have completely missed the point of living: to just do whatever the fuck you want without any higher meaning. But, some douchebags along the way wanted a higher meaning, and what better higher meaning than something that can and can’t be denied with fake evidence conjured from their thoughts and a lack of evidence conjured from those very same thoughts.

The only point I care about is me pointing this bullshit out the door. Thank you, and I hope I made my point.