Big Picture Show

There was once a time in my life where I cared about society’s problems. I felt a debate was worth it. And I should do my part and voice my opinion. However, through my twenties, I confirmed my suspicion that giving a shit about the big picture is a complete and utter waste of time.

I don’t care about drug use. I don’t care if athletes use steroids and their neck explodes. Not my mess to clean up. Feel free to legalize weed, crack, and meth. Not only will it bring us good entertainment on the morning news, it will let the species sort out the weak minded as they crash and burn harder and faster. If we want a real debate if evolution is real, I say, let’s witness it first-hand.

I don’t care about the privacy debate. If it means they get what they want, people will give information to the highest bidder or lowest cost alternative. Concerning Apple’s stance to refuse decryption of the iPhone of a dead terrorist: I don’t give a fuck. He’s dead. Justice has been served in the proper manner. He fought the law, and the law won. No further answers need to be.

The media and lawyers have convinced people that closure can only be achieved through a thorough understanding of the criminal mind. I don’t give a shit about the mind of a pedophile, a murderer, an arsonist, or anything else. In case you haven’t been tracking the news over the past thirty years, but this sad attempt at solving a bigger problem – preventing crime itself – is a complete waste of time. This attempt to understand, to know more, is worthless. Take a page from the old West: shoot first and ask questions later.

Winter’s Death

Turn, Turn, Turn: For many of us, winter is blooming into spring, or fall hardening into winter. Which season do you most look forward to?

death of a tree
Winter; when people feel the joy of giving, while nature goes off and dies.

Winter. The trees play dead; fish are trapped to die under the frozen tundra of a pond; and, ironically, in the season where nature kills herself, humans are happy. Maybe it has something to do with the convergence of their made-up holidays.

I like to think the holidays were deliberately planned together, to relieve people that winter reminds them that everything has died. Like to think, but then they go about and celebrate things such as births, and news, like a new year; the birth of a baby; and how nature has given to all and we should share alike.

I can’t find an index on this, but it seems to me, the cold air snaps people out of their foul moods. Then again, one only has to read Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol, to prove me wrong, or right; it depends how far you’ve read: to the point of death appeared, or the point Scrooge changed his views forever.

While spring reminds people of nature’s birth, winter’s coming informs them that all that has grown that year, is sent off to die. Like war; maybe that’s the motivation in America; it reminds rich white men that everything innocent is sent off to die, while they lay cozy on their oversized recliners.

Winter presents a challenge for survival, and if you come out on top, you’ll be presented with the warming of spring. A warming filled with pollen, dander, and dirt, dictated by a stupid groundhog in a penguin suit.

Winter’s chilled frosty air, presents an opportunity to wear more clothes. During the summer and fall, there’s a production increase at Chinese sweat shops. And for the workers who kill over during their duty, it’s a reminder that winter strikes with death even when it’s not around.

Winter beats out summer in that, if it’s too cold, you can light a fire, or snuggle under a blanket with your sex provider. At summertime, you could skimp down to nothing, and still burn your ass off.

The transition is this: spring blossoms life; summer fries it with cancer from the blazing sun; fall eats away at the life, dropping it to the ground; and the winter snow buries it, putting the final nails in it’s coffin.

Winter. It’s cold, it’s dead, it’s quiet — unlike the noisy neighbors during their spring break parties — and it’s a reminder that people should be giving to one another all year long. Instead of waiting for the reminder that everything is dead, just like some people wait until a relative has died, before saying something nice about them.

What Happened On, Oct 29th

In high school, I was a history buff. Then after high school, I didn’t give a shit. But, thanks to my new found respect for dead people, I’ve come to like history again. I’d like to begin with a new segment I call, “What Happened On.” This is where I take the events in history that happened on this particular day, and relay them to you, my fine reading and listening audience.

You got to love King James the first. He’s one of those kings of England that decided to send his own people to their death to appease another country. Amazing, because in today’s world, the English don’t do anything to appease anyone, especially their disadvantaged youth.

Walter Raleigh, Englishman that died.
Walter Raleigh, Englishman that died.

Now, back in the late 1500s to early 1600s, Walter Raleigh led several expeditions to South America to what later became known as the search for the city of gold, or El Dorado. There was a Dreamworks movie of that or some sort, that ended far better than this fuck’s fate. During his last expedition to find the city of greed, a company of men under Raleigh’s command ransacked a Spanish outpost.

Now, first, one might wonder, why didn’t the king thank him. Isn’t he doing him a favor by defeating someone who was trying to cut in on getting the gold? Well, I suppose that had something to do with foreign affairs or other stupid bullshit like that. The point is, when Raleigh returned to England, the stupid fuck, he was arrested and executed to appease the Spanish.

You got to love the English, because in 2008, the BBC reported him as one of the greatest Englishman who had ever lived. And folks, this was the guy who made tobacco popular in England. Tobacco, as we know, became the cash crop for the new world, along with another “crop” these English fucks thought they could contain. He also believed that an entire city could be made of gold, and was convicted and condemned to death, but let go several times to feed the king’s greed.

I enjoy technology. It just so happens today is the 43rd anniversary of the first message sent of the ARPANET, which would later become the Internet. A student at UCLA, of all the fucking places, sent a message from his computer to another computer waiting at the Stanford Research Institute. The next thought that popped into his mind was, “Wow, I won’t need my subscription to Playboy in thirty years!”

Holy shit that's a hurricane.
Holy shit that’s a hurricane.

Last, but not least, is something that has to do with current events. And I say current for two reasons. The first is that it’s happening right now, and the second is that it has to do with ocean currents. And by that I mean, in 1998, Hurricane Mitch, or bitch, however you call it depending on where your vantage point of it all was, dropped itself in the Caribbean, killing more than 19,000 people.

If you watch the news, please let me know how many people die in the current Hurricane Sandy, as I don’t even turn on the TV. Maybe I’ll check in another fourteen years, if Wikipedia is even still around.

Folks, I apologize if you’re affected by the current Hurricane Sandy; you know this is just humor, and it’s all bullshit. Please read the disclaimer.