I’ve felt alone most of my life, like a lone wolf. Here are some things I’ve learned about doing your own thing; going your own way.
You have to have confidence with the courage to understand yourself, for better or worse, hopefully for the better. Around the age of twenty-five, I decided to tackle my problems head on. I could have given in to drinking, smoking, drugs, and being a dick. I cared more about myself than hating others.
It required the confidence that I could do it and the courage to see myself as I was. I felt a lot of stress. Much was revealed on what was important to me. There were times I shut the world out because it seemed I was the only one who cared and wanted to make myself better. I couldn’t agree with the advice that said, “Just hide it away. Here, have a beer.”
You learn self-discipline. With nobody giving you guidance, you’ve got to know when and what to do to grow. I learned to draw, I learned to write, and best of all, I learned to understand much of the psychology that makes up human behavior and emotions. These skills and knowledge provided me the opportunity to learn empathy and expression, in a time and culture that’s focused on, “Look at me.”
You learn what’s important to you and what’s no longer important. At times I felt betrayed, others enlightened. You’ll lose harmful morals, ideas, and beliefs, in exchange for making room for what works best for you.
And here’s the toughest part to swallow about going on your own: you learn who is important in your life. I’ve reduced, or disconnected, my contact with some people in my life, because I found they were harming my pursuit of happiness. I’ve had friends who treated me like family, and people I once called friends, who didn’t even say hello once in a while.
Going your own way, doing your own thing, can be both challenging and exciting. However short or long your journey, be it a few days, a few months, or in my case, eight to nine years, there will be things that will surprise and shock you. The best thing you can do is have good friends around. Real friends. People who say hello, call you out, for better or worse, with the intention of telling you they want you in their life.
I hope you’ve learned something by reading this. I write often, and it’s usually quite personal. It takes a lot of confidence to put your thoughts and experiences out for others to read. You subject yourself to judgment, criticism, but hopefully, to getting closer to others. As friends, or lovers, whatever the case may be; they’re both welcoming.