In my never-ending pursuit of income, through employment or self-published works, I find myself kicking a wall of wannabe psychologists. Pure speculation, of course; but aren’t all understandings formed from observation and guessing? Maybe. Depends on which side of the tracks you put the train on, provided you understand the train is supposed to be on the tracks.
I’ve noticed a trend in interviewing and classified ads: a need to evaluate if a candidate is a “good fit” for the workplace community. That is, “one of us — one of us — one of us.” The interviewing process has become finite; or, put another way: people evaluating the personalities of others to see if they will conform to the company standard.
I can believe harmony is good for a healthy work place. But, with harmony comes slowed progression; if competing ideas are wiped out, then nobody objects to dumb decisions. Just ask the people of North Korea how well absolute unity has worked out for them, provided you can find your way around their well-lit village roads.
Has there ever been a habitat where species didn’t compete for control of resources? Lions eat gazelles; ants eat the carcase; and 500-year old Gollums eat the raw fish.
I’m put under a microscope operated by a three-year old. Interviews used to be a quick evaluation, that went a little something like this: “Here’s what we need you to do. Can you do it? Good. When can you start?” Simple, plain, and to the point.
Not anymore! Now every employee has to be on the same wavelength; jump in the same boat; a corporate cul-de-sac of feelings and cubicles.
These workers are easily agitated, irritated, and annoyed; a generation of let me stare at-my screen and I’ll get back to you when my app sends me a reminder. Don’t bother me, I’m busy tweeting, taking pictures, or sewing a digital pattern for the world’s largest online quilt. These people are a minor inconvenience away from losing their cool, and so, in order to stay in peace, nothing can be allowed to disturb them.
I feel that I may come across as too direct; something about carrying yourself with confidence can bother the crew. I wouldn’t know for sure, because they’re too timid to tell me. Maybe if I developed an anonymous web application and ported it to their cellphones, they would feel compelled to share.
I’m no longer amazed at this attempt to control the natural order. With the plethora of information society soaks in, and doesn’t really understand, even though they’re told what it means, from one opinion, I find myself subjected to an ignorant genius; an oxymoron, I’m sure, as most of these brilliant scientists just reference the all-knowing, all-wise, all-powerful Internet for their answers. Pay no attention to the man behind the database.
Like a library on fire, knowledge on the Internet is often as useless as a curtain without a window, so both might as well go up in flames.
I’ve actually had an interview where their head developer said, “If there’s something we don’t know how to solve, we search for the answer on the Internet.” Should have been a flag to me, considering it came from a company who specializes in serving the education community.
Maybe these psychotherapists have taken a class or two in understanding the human psyche. I did, and I like to refer to that class as Freshman P.E., when, at the time, my psyche was focused not on my physical education, but of the girls sweating with me around the track, on the field, or in the gym. Boy those were the times, weren’t they? A little smelly, but a — uh never mind; you’re not interested in unfulfilled repressed sexual fantasies.
But the psyche of a fourteen year old doesn’t interest employers, and as such, we grow our minds — hopefully — as we age. Some of us keep high school with us, others leave it behind, and there are a few who smoke it away during high school. Yes, by that I mean people who smoked pot.
I’ve grown weary of this need for everyone to be a shrink; to don a pair of glasses, comb over my personality as if it were written in stone at birth, and assume they know everything about me from their well-crafted evaluation.
I’m not a believer that genetics determine your physical manifestations of your psychological behavior; unless, of course, you have a disease like Parkinson’s, in which case, you have my sympathy. As someone who wants to be an actor and stand-up comedian, I know we can behave however we wish; but, of course, we are subjected to subconscious triggers that, from time to time, cause us to make decisions others may view as fucking stupid.
And that’s okay; stupid makes things interesting; without it, I wouldn’t know how stupid these interviewers are by assuming they, who don’t know the meaning of cognitive therapy, are capable of evaluating a person with questions they printed from a website.