They’re a team of criminals and nerds: the perfect pair concluded one day that protecting their ruthless pursuit of money by separating their private assets from their business, was the best model to screw people over. I’m, of course, talking about becoming incorporated. The only reason the devil’s plan could have ever been solidified in the natural affairs of day-to-day business was from an employer who wanted to break the law.
There’s no other explanation for it that makes sense; what have they got to lose? Hide behind a name to protect their private assets. The idea was simple, and elegantly executed by lawyers across the board; in congress, in each State, down to the city council. All of them in on the wonderful idea that a person who profited from a business no longer had to put their money where their mouth is.
This pisses me off about corporate investors and share holders: they have no fucking balls. They gave themselves the excuse to not make moral decisions. Forget that these fat fucks have modest employees that rely on a meager salary to feed their children and barely pay a mortgage, or rent. All they care about is being large and in charge; the big man on campus; the winner of the bread, drinker of of the wine, the life of the party; to control it all and not have to be responsible for their crimes.
Of course, these crimes aren’t really crimes; there’s nothing illegal about laying people off on a massive scale to shed a few dollars from the budget if it serves the interest of the investors. You’ll never see a law written to protect workers from the fat cat fifty floors up who has never even been to the office. Too many congressmen benefit from the growth in the stock market, and as long as they do, it’s business as usual, where there are more victims and less winners each year.
These owners hide behind a fake name, present themselves with a shiny title and act as if they really give a shit about their employees. Don’t mind the fact that, if the business goes under due to their negligence, that their private lives will be just fucking fine. Their six houses will be protected, the yacht will remain afloat, and they’ll continue their membership at the country club.
Meanwhile, their employees who worked for ten or twenty years are shit out of luck; they have to sell the house, the car, can’t send their kids to college, and so on and so forth. Divorce rate goes up, along with drug and alcohol use, resulting in the stock of the microbrewery their former boss just purchased also rising.
You see, it doesn’t matter what befalls a business owner when they’re incorporated. And, hey, they’ll incorporate everything, including their side business. Oh yeah, you didn’t know this? Most business owners have side businesses that are equally as protected to give them even more income, assets, and authority over others, in an effort to feed their wallets, egos, and sick fantasy of getting away with being a crook.
I say crook, because they have to to be crooked to not stand up for their work. They hide behind a faceless brand; a logo that screams inhuman; a slogan that jiggles with a tune, but falls flat when consumers realize how shitty the products really are. Children say, “I swear on my mother’s grave,” when they mean to stand up for something they really believe in. You won’t find any of these incorporated business owners standing up like that; they sold their mothers a long time ago.
And I sense that, maybe, just maybe, some of you are business owners, and think, “Well, gee, you’ve never owned a business, so you wouldn’t know.” True, true, I’ve never owned a business — but! I am a man of integrity. I’ve always put myself on the line for what I believed, and knew, was the best course of action. When you have a corporation, you don’t have to worry about the best course of action; your private life won’t be affected. These corporate owners are disconnected from the failure of their business, giving new meaning to the phrase, “Nothing to lose.” Nothing, as in the livelihood they’ve stripped away from their employees when the company goes belly up, and all the assets are sold off to pay the investors, and they take a trip to the Caribbean. They get a cruise ship, their former employees get a canoe.
And then these owners have the audacity to think this disconnection from the stake in the outcome of the business, affords them to same rights and privileges of a normal human being. I still think this is the most heinous and wretched decision the United States Supreme Court could have ever made; worse than appointing Bush. Imagine that: nine old fucks, isolated from the rest of society, who we felt would make just decisions, can’t see the writing on the wall that a corporation is something made up. It’s all make-believe; like Sesame Street, or the Reading Rainbow.
Fine, if a corporation can be made from nothing, then we should be able to do it with anything. Like… Sasquatch! There’s about as much evidence that he exists as how much these corporate owners care about their workers. And while we’re on the subject of big sweaty dumb men, why don’t we invite the Abominable Snowman for dinner so he can go over the finer points of being cold-hearted? I think a fine lesson on surviving by making smart decisions should come from the monster that patrols the tallest mountain in the world.
Oh, I would love to see things change. I dream, just a little, to watch this fantasy come to an end, and people who wish to turn their small business into a big multinational corporation, finally grow a pair, instead of hiding them in the sand.